He has cancer

I’m not sure if this is the right place to vent my feelings. On a public website, where everyone I know, reads. I’ll probably regret it. But right now, I have no close friends living close to me that I can just run to their house and really talk to. I don’t really feel like doing it over the phone either. I just want to get it out now.

I went to the Real Time Cancer website today, and had a good look around. My friend Johanna will be doing the 5hr hike for RTC, and I may also join her. She’s going to check to see if there are any sponsor sheets left for me. I was reading this article and I could only get half way though it, and it hit home. It’s almost the exact same way that I found out that my Dad has cancer. I’ve never cried like that before. It’s so messed up, I’ve never been the type to cry at movies, or cry at sad stories like this. But reading Rebecca’s “Shock of Diagnosis” was so real to me. It’s how it happened to our family.

So I think I owe it to myself to do this hike, if there’s enough room. My Dad is doing okay, they removed a tumor from his bowel, in August. But the cancer spread to his liver. He’s been going to so many different types of Doctors. He only just went to the Cancer Clinic 2weeks ago, but they don’t know what to do with him yet. The Cancer DR has to talk to the Dr that did his surgery on him, before they start chemo. He’s taking all sorts of heart pills, and other pills. I don’t want to ask what they’re for. He seems to be doing fine. But how do you know for sure? He’s just like me. Hide’s his feelings. I don’t know how he’s doing! He’s lost a lot of weight since being in Hospital. He’s 6’0 tall, and weights only 138lbs. He’s put on weight since he’s been out of Hospital, which is amazing, I’m glad to see him get a little better, heh – he has to wear suspenders with his pants. But, I’m so afraid to ask what’s going to happen. Back in August, I asked my Mom if he’s going to be alright. She didn’t know the answer, which obviously would make anyone upset. Your mother telling you that she doesn’t know what the outcome will be. Ahhhhuighdk;ah. Anyway..I’m going to go to the climbing gym with Johanna tonight, and maybe talk to her about the Real Time Climb for Cancer. I haven’t been climbing hardcore in ages. I need to keep at it.

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