I’m not sure if this is the right place to vent my feelings. On a public website, where everyone I know, reads. I’ll probably regret it. But right now, I have no close friends living close to me that I can just run to their house and really talk to. I don’t really feel like doing it over the phone either. I just want to get it out now.

I went to the Real Time Cancer website today, and had a good look around. My friend Johanna will be doing the 5hr hike for RTC, and I may also join her. She’s going to check to see if there are any sponsor sheets left for me. I was reading this article and I could only get half way though it, and it hit home. It’s almost the exact same way that I found out that my Dad has cancer. I’ve never cried like that before. It’s so messed up, I’ve never been the type to cry at movies, or cry at sad stories like this. But reading Rebecca’s “Shock of Diagnosis” was so real to me. It’s how it happened to our family.

So I think I owe it to myself to do this hike, if there’s enough room. My Dad is doing okay, they removed a tumor from his bowel, in August. But the cancer spread to his liver. He’s been going to so many different types of Doctors. He only just went to the Cancer Clinic 2weeks ago, but they don’t know what to do with him yet. The Cancer DR has to talk to the Dr that did his surgery on him, before they start chemo. He’s taking all sorts of heart pills, and other pills. I don’t want to ask what they’re for. He seems to be doing fine. But how do you know for sure? He’s just like me. Hide’s his feelings. I don’t know how he’s doing! He’s lost a lot of weight since being in Hospital. He’s 6’0 tall, and weights only 138lbs. He’s put on weight since he’s been out of Hospital, which is amazing, I’m glad to see him get a little better, heh – he has to wear suspenders with his pants. But, I’m so afraid to ask what’s going to happen. Back in August, I asked my Mom if he’s going to be alright. She didn’t know the answer, which obviously would make anyone upset. Your mother telling you that she doesn’t know what the outcome will be. Ahhhhuighdk;ah. Anyway..I’m going to go to the climbing gym with Johanna tonight, and maybe talk to her about the Real Time Climb for Cancer. I haven’t been climbing hardcore in ages. I need to keep at it.

Quick little update. I think you all should download this new swanky skin for MSN. There’s other options to choose from, other than my white background with red/amber/green dots. But yeah, it’s pretty nifty isn’t it! Click here to see a sample image. I’ve got to get back to some assignments, and turn off this bloody monitor, it keeps huming really loud. Even if I turn the refresh rate down, it goes ballistic after a half hour. Sooo, time for me to save up and get me a nice flat screen. Oh yeah.

School is insane. 

I’ve got so many projects with too many deadlines, and tests upon tests. Practical tests too, like setting up the preferating machine in the press room. Frig!!! Our mid terms are in about three weeks. Gah, it’s all flying by way too fast for me. I’m doing pretty awesome in school. I got 100% on my computer quiz, an A- on an assignment, and a B+ on another. My teacher was teaching us how to take apart the inside of a computer today. Since he’s known me for ages, he knows I don’t really listen in class, so he picked on me first, to go and put the computer together. Needless to say, I did it, but I was like “ACK, I wasn’t listening, I remember where this goes.. but not really.” Like the connector cables, I knew which one plugged into the hard drive, and one into the IDE connectors, but I forgot about putting the middle connector into the HDD, b/c I’d have to put a floppy drive in.

Anyway, danget, it’s hard to explain. I’m sure I’m not explaining it correctly, but I don’t care. Working out three days a week is sweet. I love it. Stef only goes on Wednesdays with me now. I think Meighan will join on Fridays, so that’s good. I don’t have to go by myself all the time. I was doing TWICE the amount of running, that I should have been doing. Yay me, in one sense, but God was it ever tiring. The personal Trainer dude, ran with me and Stef today, so I wouldn’t loose track of how many we were doing. Hah. I’m not a Xcountry runner, I get out of breath easily. So he was kinda teaching me how to breath. Nice I suppose. I’m not tired after I come back from a workout anymore. I think I should move my weights up. I shouldn’t really be updating. I should be doing homework. Gotta jet! LAter folks. :p